Duke Nukem: Critical Mass

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Critical Mess Never heard of this Duke Nukem game? I'm not surprised. I had never heard of this game too up until one of my trips to Datablitz. When I saw it on the shelf I went "wtf?" and as soon as I got home, I did some research on the game.

There were two of these Duke Nukem games in development, one for the Nintendo DS and the other for the Sony PSP. Trailers of these games exist on the internet and while the PSP one looked like a fun little budget 3rd person shooter, it never made it out to the market. The DS one got released and I gotta say after playing the little sucker I'd tell anyone to steer clear from this game, even if it's just for shits and giggles.

The DS version is a mix of many types of shooters. For the most part it's a really bad side scroller then it goes into these sniper segments. After that you find Duke wearing a jet pack and it becomes a top down space ship shooter style and to finish it all, the game becomes a 3rd person shooter similar to the PS1 Duke Nukem games.

Now if the developers just focused on one of these aspects then I think the game would have been decent or at the most part playable. But since it's split up into all of these game types, it just becomes a cluster fuck or bad controls, half-assed gameplay, and just downright utter confusion.

I had intially planned to beat the game and then review it just to be able to show the world how bad this is but I can't even work up the nerve to pop the game back in my poor DS Lite.

 

What Duke Nukem Forever tried to be

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I'm guessing most of you have at least tried out Duke Nukem Forever and either hated it instantly with a vengance or tried to like it but to no avail. I'm going to show you a video fo what Duke Nukem Forever should have been.

I'd argue that Duke Nukem Forever isn't as bad as everyone makes it out to be. It just tried so hard to be something that no one would like in this day and age. They exaggerated to humor to idiot extremes and the shooting was mediocre at best.

This is a mod of the infamous Duke Nukem 3D, a Duke Nukem game we all know and love. If you want to go back and play Duke Nukem 3D and relive your gun shooting, alien killing, ass kicking, and gm chewing, then this is the way to go.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wmq5m4Y__Ro&w=560&h=349]

Duke Nukem 3D: Reloaded

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Ok, so Duke Nukem Forever wasn't as good as everyone expected even after 12 years in development. This might be good news for all you Duke fans out there who think he can still make a come back.

A small Danish studio called Interceptor Entertainment is working a HD remake of the famous Duke Nukem 3D. Duke Nukem 3D: Reloaded has been acknowledged and greenlit by Gearbox Software and Jon St. John, the voice of Duke, will also be contributing his voice for the game.

It won't just be Duke Nukem 3D with HD graphics, they claim that it'll play like a modern shooter (hopefully better than Forever), have 16 player multiplayer and a demo is in the works.

Shake it baby!

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OwPIdty-l9Q&w=560&h=349]

So Duke Nukem Forever got delayed... lol

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Hilarious news, it has been announced that Duke Nukem Forever will not make its intended release date of May 3. De ja vu anyone? But don't fear, Gearbox is still saying that this is a real game and not some kind of decade long troll. The date has been moved to June 14 in North Amerca and June 10 for the rest of the world.

To make up for it, Gearbox President Randy Pitchford has given us this hilarious video.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5VFFR-5a-Ko&w=640&h=390]